10 years today Christina passed away!!

I cannot believe it has been 10 years! Christina was the person who brought me to God and after she passed I feel like she has been the one who truly helps my mom, dad, dusty, and I remain so close. She touched our hearts and made us laugh until we cried! She was my best friend when we lived in TX. TX was really hard on our family and she helped us smile and keep our heads up. 10 years ago Christina took her life and I still feel guilty for being so selfish and wanting to move back to CO, I stopped talking to her, I stopped writing to her...I was so selfish and I shut her out of my life, I was so worried about boys and other friends. Friends like her don't exist anymore, people are so back stabbing and fake these days. I just wish I was there for her I could have taken that gun out of her hand...I have not cried sad tears in such along time. It has been coming and going all day, but I have been finding myself smiling thinking of the hilarious thing we did, I am waiting til Danny gets home tonight and we are going to watch her video. Her character was amazing she could care less about what other people thought, while I went out of my way as a 14 year old, trying to "be cool", its eye opening now how much I have changed. I don't care anymore and I want to teach Troy and Jess to be the same way, who cares what people think? If you keep trying to be a person others want you to be your going to miss out on the people who love YOU for being YOU!